Jason Scheirer

"The crabs rule here. They even have their own crab police. Familiarize yourself with crab law before arriving, they are not very forgiving with outsiders."

"White chicks will use any excuse they can get to wear a sari"

"The giraffes have stolen my wallet on 4 different occasions. Sometimes at the top of the gondola there is a small imp (possibly a goblin?) that makes you answer a riddle before he will let you off."

"I like the burgers, the fried chicken is surprisingly good, the fish and chips too. Anything fried, can’t go wrong."

"I really like this place, so don’t come here and ruin it for me."

"It’s a resort, but you have to drive through an undeveloped grid of dirt roads and farmland to get to it. Amenities are old and a little run down but in decent repair. It was eerie how empty it was."