"Don't ask for two shots of Irish whiskey in your coffee because the barrista will just stare at you blankly and you'll be holding up the line... I'm only funny *after* I have my coffee!"
"If you have pancakes, upgrade them with blueberries and whipped cream for an extra $2.00. With the Norm's $2.00 e-coupon, it's a wash. Coupon is good until 2/22."