Michael Smith

"Totally thought this was the red light district. Came for a happy ending but left with a latte and a full battery. 10/10 would fuck around and find out again."

"Totally thought this was a car body shop on a drunken night out. Came in to fix my bumper, left with my body rekt. 10/10 would fuck around with bumpers again."

"Totally thought this was a massage parlor on a drunken night out. Came in for deep tissue, left with cheesefoam fuckery. 10/10 would fuck around with boba again."

"Totally thought this was a 7-11 on a drunken night out. Came in for a slushy, left with a belly full of cheese. 10/10 would cum again."

"Totally thought this was a driving range on a drunken Saturday night. Came in to hit balls. Came out with popcorn in my butthole. 10/10 would movie again."

"Totally thought this was a car dealership on a drunken night out. Came in for a good deal on a used Honda Accord, left with a belly full of dumplings that made me have orgasms for days."