Nicholas Jacobs

"the pioneer father is actually the inspiration for jedidiah springfield!"

"try the wild boar. trust me."

"lillis' solar atrium installation provides about 11KW of energy, a drop in the bucket compared to the 12MW the UO uses. a perfect example of overpriced greenwashing at its finest."

"try the burgers, they're great: local, free range and grass fed... and if you're a veggie, try a vurger, they're equally as good if not better, mmm."

"fun fact: the pioneer mother and father can see each other through Johnson hall... now you know!"

"Try getting a massage upstairs. $45 for 45 minutes equals a great deal and you can charge it to your UO account."