Shane Kaler

"Don't eat here during wintertime. Absolutely freezing, ruined the experience."

"Order the pizza boat."

"The place is now overrun by the employees' want-to-be-hood bum friend and his douche 'bros' that serve to distract them from your already messed up and not fresh sub."

"Jessica, by taking mayorship of a private residence, I'm assuming you're a live-in service. So suck my dick. If I see your lying mouth, it will be spat in."

"Here's another tip, this time for "Izzy S." Stop fucking lying. This is my parent's home. You have never been here. James C got what I promised him, and you're no better than some filthy whore."

"James C. You're a fucking liar. This is my parents' home and you are a stranger. You have never been here and if I ever see you I will punch you in the god damned mouth. I can't wait. You're welcome."