Ted Gavin

"No Tab or Avocado-colored Formica countertops? This is an outrage! I'm retreating to the safety of my plaid and earth-toned living room to consume Sweet-n-Low and watch Merv Griffin."

"Corncakes on the menu, Sriracha on the table. Coke AND Pepsi in the fridge. In depressed that after two kids going through college, we discovered this place on the day after the last one graduates."

"This is an undiscovered gem in downtown Lynchburg. It's almost a reason to come back to town on its own. Order breakfast!"

"If the Egg Beaters they're serving are real, cholesterol-free Egg Beaters, then why are there egg whites visible in mine? I think I got bait-and-switched with my health. Thanks."

"Avoid the insect colony."

"Say hello to the cats."