Zhakespeare

"Ive been doing this upside down. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AI3lSoWrngc&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAI3lSoWrngc"

"To open the secret entrance, spin the left toilet paper roll 3 times counter-clockwise then 6 times clockwise while continuously holding the flush lever."

"It's true. They do have ice cream. I saw it."

"All ponds have parasites, as do lakes. Let your dog play, city people."

"Pretty sure I'm the only Russian here. Trash everywhere. FFS, people."

"On Wednesday nights, they've got an all you can eat oyster buffet. Self-shucking only."